Monday, January 23, 2006

Super Mom

This Super Mom thing is really overrated. I have reached a point where I no longer believe that any one person can truly "have it all". There are choices to be made and priorities to put in line. There is no real life Martha Stewart. Anyone who pays attention knows she has a ton of people who do the real work. She doesn't personally take out all her spring bulbs each fall and replant then in January as she is telling us to do. She may wander around as someone she has paid is doing it and perhaps handle a few, but really, she is too busy running her business and being in front of the camera reminding all of us about our own deficiencies to even begin to do the behind the camera work. Please do not misunderstand me. There are many, many people who are able to juggle a career, family and personal time and I am not in any way trying to say they don't or to even put down Martha Stewart (she is just an example people).
I believe that the problem arises when we no longer set our own standards of success and begin to measure ourselves by someone else's standards. That is a ridciculous thing to do. We are each different. We have different talents, abilities, dreams, priorities, family demands, work demands and allocations of time and interests. What is relaxing for me may not be relaxing for you. What I struggle with daily, may be a breeze for someone else. This is why it is so very important to only work to improve against your own measure.
How do you create this measure and are you already struggling? Well, if you are struggling, then perhaps the bar is set to high. I know mine is on a fairly regular basis and I often have to step back and look at it. Not that you will never reach the high bar, but for now, bring it down a bit and have a success or two to celebrate. As people, especially women and mothers, we really do put too much on ourselves. There are only so many hours in the day. I can NOT get everything done that I want to. I am fortunate on the days that I complete everything I NEED to. I work toward an ever changing goal and have only recently realized how much I had cut myself and my own needs out of the equation. It is difficult to include myself without guilt or feeling selfish. I am working on it though and it is now part of my own personal measure of success.
Just remember, you may never know what goes on "behind the camera" so don't judge yourself against what you are able to see of another's life.


Zarzuela said...

Thanks for the reminder! It is very hard to be everything to everyone isn't it?


~drew emborsky~ said...

I think you are right, and it's good to keep in mind that what is on t.v. is NOT real. That goes for movies, sitcoms, after school specials, self-help shows, home improvement shows, etc. They are all edited, perfectly presented and just not feasible for most of us.

We just do what we can and should be content with that.