Monday, December 22, 2008

What does my subconscious know?

Apparently, my subconscious has accepted things my conscious has not. My husband and son were leaving for Tae Kwon Do tonight. Right after heading out the door, my son comes running in yelling that Dad collapsed in the driveway. I very calmly said he what? "Dad collapsed in the driveway!" I walk -still calmly- out the front door and see the car with the open passenger door in the driveway, no husband visible. "Where?"
"Behind the car!"
I walk to the back and see nothing, keep -calmly- walking and see my husband on the ground next to the drivers door. I walk up and see he is conscious though obviously shaken. We begin to talk and I find out he slipped and fell on the ice. However he jammed his arm and really hit his shoulder hard. He is very much alive and will be fine.

Apparently at some level I have accepted that there will be a day he will collapse and it will not be this. It will be something serious medically. I know that because my thought walking to the car was very plainly "not yet, please". Also because I remained so calm. What was that about? I should have been running frantically out of the house. Don't misunderstand, I was very concerned and worried, just not panicked or frantic. I am pretty weirded out by this. Time to deal with stuff I don't want to I guess.


sara :) said...

Oh, Alex. I hope everything is ok. HUGS

Debbie Hodge said...

oh, Alex, I'm glad he's ok -- and love that you recorded this moment and your response. We all wonder how we'll react in tough spots.