Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Not my favorite day

So, I have never been a big April Fools Day fan. I always thought it was a bit mean spirited. However, I like it even less now. Now it has very little to do with the "holiday" and more to do with it being the day my Dad passed away. I am having a hard time believing that it was 10 years ago. 10 years~! It really seems like just yesterday in so many ways.
This entire week is just a tough one as his birthday is April 3. I just do my best anymore to ignore what the days represent and not to talk about it with my family. I just don't have the energy to commiserate and/or get them through it. I really thought it would get easier with time, but it hasn't. Just different.


Anonymous said...

It's been 8 years for me. I'm still waiting for it to get easier, too.


Jenn said...

Hugs to you Alex! I wish I was there to really give you one!


cjknick said...

Yup, these kind of anniversaries suck. It will be 20 years for me come December and I'm amazed at how much my heart still hurts.

Hugs to you my friend.


Vicki said...

Alex, losing someone so close is always very difficult and the years may never take away the pain of the loss. THe way I choose to deal with it is to do a celebration of their life on the day of their passing or on birthdays and such. Celebrations bring happiness and fond memories of all the ways that they were special. I know that if I passed and was able to see my family I would much rather see them celebrating instead of mourning me. It is an honor to remember loved ones in a positive, favorable way and the happy memories keep them close to our hearts in a warm way rather than a feeling of void and pain.
Maybe on the anniversary you could go outside and release balloons in all different colors and on his birthday bake a cake and sing happy birthday to him and then enjoy the cake remembering funny things he said and did. We choose how to deal with death and loss. Honor your dad by doing joyous things and the pain will ease more than if you dread the anniversary coming. I hope that helps a little, it sure has helped me. Praying that God will help to ease your pain, kiddo.